Gary Bernard Kayl

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Ginny (Kayl) DeBates

Jun 16, 2013

This is the 6th Father's Day that we haven't had our dad with us to call or send a card to. We want everyone to remember what a fun and loving person you were, dad. Here is a copy of what I said at your wake. I still feel the same way today. Miss you---until we meet again. Gin

March 2008:


42 years ago, you were there when I took my first breath. And sadly Wednesday, I was there when you took your last. Those last few days you were so sick. I am sorry dad, but I have to confess that I prayed on this Tuesday night that each breath you took would be your last. You see, dad, your body wasn’t made for a hospital bed. Your body was made for hard work, chores, sitting on our front porch. Your hands weren’t made for IV’s and monitors, but for friendly handshakes, coffee cups and skillfully writing your name upside down, left-handed and backwards. Your heart---not for stethoscopes and EKG’s, but for loving all you came to meet.

Even though you were so very sick, St. Luke’s was lucky enough to get a good taste of the real Gary B. Kayl. You skillfully fired nurses, took Social Security Numbers and threatened to “dock their wages” if they didn’t behave. You told them the only pain you had was when they were in the room. When the doctors asked you questions, you gave them your normal answer(that we all know was really no answer at all!) One doctor came in and said, “See…your father is very confused.” Dad quietly said, “If you want to see confused---talk to the old lady on the couch.” (mom) Sassy to the end. It was hard work for us, dad, to try to explain that the stroke had not affected you at all. This was the way you always were!

Dad, there are a million things about you that I’m going to miss---but I suppose it is time for you to go. I know that the pace of Heaven has now slowed down quite a bit. You’re asking people to sit down, visit awhile, tell you where they are from. 

They are learning new words, like “discompooperated,” and “squumungous.” They’re learning new phrases, like “really!” and “I can’t answer that.” Lucky, lucky folks. 

Heaven is now a much better place.


Mar 13, 2013

Thank you Dad for all your advice(which I thought was crazy as a teenager) and cherish now as an adult. 

Thank you for showing me the evil in TV and the media, for teaching me how to say... "Turn that thing off" or "Switch it!" 

Thank you for teaching me how to appreciate music. My kids will always listen to a song if I say, "This is Papa's music." 

And, for teaching me to be kind and respect others. 

Also, being able to talk to anybody and ask them questions like; "How are you?", " Where do you come from?", " Do you know so and so?" You made me the extrovert I am today! 

You helped make me the person I am today, to be proud of who I am and where I come from! I just wish I could have told you all of these things when you were still here with us. 

Sorry for all the lost conversations that I missed because I was just "too busy." 

Love you Dad!

Koni - ol - buddy

Mar 12, 2013

The name my dear friend and second father coined me with! Still to this day people call me that! 

 I have memories from very early in life of a silly Gary B, but as Maureen and I bonded more in life, so did me and Gary B.

Memories I will never forget was me and Mo running a car out of gas, oil, and water in the radiator all in one night. I believe we got a lesson in "Reading guages" after that. lol.

He was key in the bowling alley years, coffee in the morning, beer in the evening. Always a favorite to "visit to". Loved hearing his stories about the "nest of sisters" (Geri and the girls)or his find for the day. His Garyism's were so fun and unique.

Loved the days were we would write "memos" to one another. He had a locker full of memo's the night when John Morrells burnt down. He was so disappointed to lose those. I'm sure it added kindling to the fire, because some memo's were six cigarette cartons long!

I loved his sense of value. Each night after my shift at the lanes, he would talk me out of 50 cents of my tip money to buy a pickle ticket... and of that pickle we would side bet another quarter. We never splurged on them, but had more fun with 50 cents than most people did with 100 dollars. 

 True Story...(no Gary Pun intended) One night, I got off work, he says... I only got a quarter tonight. I'm like really Gary B? Yup, that's all he had. So we each invested a quarter, and I'll be if we didn't hit the $100. Imagine our celebration! :-)

Back to cars... like every good father does, he was the one to give me the thumbs up on all new purchases. It was February~ish and I had just got a new to me Ford Taurus. Gary B and Rick decided we needed to check out this new car. So on a snowy night we set out, Gary at the wheel, Rick in the passenger seat and me in the back. I can still hear Gary B. ordering Rick to try out the radio, and to make sure Koni gets AM radio so I can listen to swap shop on WNAX. Well as the road trip went on we found ourselves on a road not fit for travel... Gary B drove into a drift about "100 ft in and 100 ft out." My car was then re-named the "Tear-Ass" :-)

I could write a book on memories of him, truly. I loved him dearly, miss him still. His wonderful family... each of you are, are some of the most precious, dearest friends I'll ever be blessed with. God Rest your Soul Gary B. until we meet again!

Katie Bousquet

Oct 16, 2012

I love this site. My kids love to see pictures and videos of their silly Papa. He was loved dearly and greatly missed. Brett didn't get to know him and this is a great way for us to let him see Papa.

Michelle Craig

Sep 23, 2012

What a wonderful tribute to your father. I only met him a couple of times he was such a friendly guy.

Maureen Thompson

Sep 23, 2012

As Jeff and I tinker around the Ponca house, we find things that you have made or fixed, or some of the things you kept, and we both smile and talk about your unique creative approach to fixing things and making stuff around the house work. We marvel at how you made do with what you had and everything could have a purpose. 

It reminds of the time that I brought home a very small plastic clothes hanger that Lynnette Hatcher had to hang her Barbie clothes. I wanted some of these hangers and asked mom if she would buy me some so I could hang my Barbie clothes in the new doll house that Ginny had made for me. Ginny had made a Barbie house of boxes and diaper boxes. Lynnette had a store bought Barbie house. So Ginny sewed me matching curtains and bed spread out of pink flannel. She made me a sink from an egg carton and it was really cute. The bed was a Kleenex box. She is as creative as you. Mom told me “no” she would not spend money on plastic Barbie clothes hangers and you asked me to show you the plastic hanger. You told me "I can make you some way better than that," and then proceeded to look around the house. You sat down with wire from a tablet of paper and with your pliers made a very small wire hanger exactly like a real clothes hanger. You made me a couple more and said "these are better-you can put these in your new doll house." I was so pleased. I showed all of my friends my new hangers and they wanted some too. I asked you if you could make some more and you told me as soon as more tablets run out of paper. LOL. 

My favorite thing to hear is the sound of my 3 sons laughing together. I think about all of the times my brothers and sisters would start laughing about really stupid stuff and couldn’t stop laughing and you would sit there with a big grin. This must have been as wonderful to you too.

Lori Huffman

Sep 22, 2012

What an awesome website! This made my day!

Maureen Thompson

Sep 21, 2012

One Life Lesson from Gary B. Kayl Perspective 

When I was a little girl, I remember not being able to sleep one summer night in the late 70’s. I heard you walk into the house late that night. Mom had been waiting up for you. When she looked at you she was horrified to see that you had blood all over your face. Feeling scared, mom asked you what had happened? You said that you were working that night on a motor which you had been trying for a while to get running. Leaning down over the motor, it had exploded right in your face. Hot pieces of metal were embedded all over your face and your neck. 

In sadness, mom asked “oh, my gosh, Gary, what did you do?” I will never forget what you said. You answered her, “I immediately fell on my knees, Jeri-- and thanked God that it missed my eyes.” “Thank God it missed my eyes.” You told her that you had your hat pulled down over your eyes, like you did many times before. Because the bill of the hat was over your eyes it had somehow protected them from the little pieces of metal. 

Mom sat up for most of that night picking the small pieces of the hot metal out of your face and neck. She tried to make sure all of the sores on your skin were clean to prevent infection. Of course, going to the doctor was not necessary to you. :-)

You did not once complain about the motor being ruined. The motor you couldn’t afford to replace and very badly needed. You did not once complain about the great misfortune and pain of having hot pieces of metal in your face. Instead, you praised God that your eyes were spared, as you had many mouths to feed. 

Well, dad—one year ago-- on March 12, 2008; the most unimaginable and brilliant light from the glory of our God exploded right in front of you... And we know you immediately fell to your knees…. and this time, on this day---it did NOT “miss your eyes”. 

Wish you were sitting on our front porch steps right now. Your love was big. Your lessons were big.

Scott DeBates

Jul 19, 2012

You are so dearly missed! There isn't a day that goes by that your friends and family don't think of you. I see a part of you in every one of your children and grandchildren.

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